Dark
by bodiechan
Summary: The beast's last thoughts before Gaston storms the castle.


NOTE: This is over a year old, back when I was doing the 100 word challenge, but I rather like it and decided to submit it anyway. Just a warning, it's kind of... dark and depressing.

_I am… a beast__…_

"Go." The word stung in my mouth, but I knew it had to be done. "Find him. Go to him…" I was doing the right thing; I loved her. But I couldn't help thinking the savage, angry thoughts of the bad-tempered beast I'd been: she was supposed to love me and me alone! But I knew it was a different kind of love she felt now, a love from daughter to father. Something I had never had, never would have, would never understand.

She smiled, and for a moment I forgot that she was leaving, that I'd never see her again. She loved me. I could tell, and in that moment everything was okay. But then she left the terrace, and the happy moment was gone. The one thing in my life that wasn't ruined was gone, gone… it was my fault. But now she was happy, that was what was important.

The servants came, all of them in a cheery mood. They were sure it would soon be over, this miserable wretch we were in. They didn't know the half of it… and of course, they managed to make everything worse. I told them my reasons, but I don't think they agreed, understood, or even… believed… what I told them.

I loved her, I really did. She could set free from this curse, yes, but she was more than that to me, much, much more than just that. She was my light through the dark, my comforter when in pain, the one who'd read me stories by the fireplace at night. She was love itself, a delicate flower, the strongest lion. Belle.

I wanted to make her stay with me forever. Yes, I had that power. She'd promised she would stay, and it was only fair that she carried out her punishment… she needed to stay and love me, to be loved by me. But because of this love I couldn't make her continue this joke, this scheme, to turn me human. I couldn't use her, like I'd used so many people before… all of them were gone now. She would stay without protest, I know. She would make the best of it and be happy here, laugh with me, sing along to my favorite harmony. But she would still cry into her pillow at night, longing for her home, where there was someone she loved. I could never make this home for her, no matter how hard I tried.

I could have used force and pushed her back, chained her to this palace, this oversized dungeon, like I had chained myself. But angels belong in heaven. And that's what she was, an angel, sent from above. And I, well, I was a monster. It was a miracle I'd gotten even this time with her, and all good things have to end. How could an angel ever learn to love a beast?

I know she could make me human. I would be happy then, back to the arrogant prince I'd once been. But nothing would have changed, the lesson unlearned. I would still be the same monster on the inside, cold and loveless. Even she couldn't change that.

I told the servants I was sorry, to all of them. They'd been good to me… kind and cheerful and sweet and helpful, even though they knew it was all my fault that they were stuck like this. Even though I hadn't been good to them. In a few hours I will be twenty-one, and locked in an eternity of pain. But if she has any mercy, any conscience at all, the enchantress who changed me once will turn my servants back to what they were. They have done nothing worth punishing. She was right to turn me into this, though, and I was wrong, so wrong…

Perhaps some day, she'll return. The angel. The girl I loved. The perfect thing that tore my heart in two, then fixed it, only to have it tear again. But I'll be long gone by then. She's going home. Home. Her father will greet her, and believe what she says. Together they will live in comfort and splendor while I dwindle away to naught.

But people will wonder where she's been, what she's done. It will get out. They'll find me and storm the castle, to destroy the beast within. But they can come. I don't care anymore… they can kill me. I don't care. She's gone. I have no reason left to live. Once I'm dead, the monster will be gone, the beast slain. They'll be famous, heroes, happy I'm gone. She'll be happy too, my angel, my beauty. She won't care if she never sees me again…

Goodbye. I'm sorry, but I let her go. It was the right thing to do. Now please… let me die in peace.


End file.
